


After Tri

by SakuraRebin



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: M/M, Some mentioned Meichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23503903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraRebin/pseuds/SakuraRebin
Summary: Yamato reflects on his feelings for Taichi after the events of Tri.
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	1. Boku Ni Totte

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this older piece I wrote and decided to post it. I started writing a chapter 3 for it, but wasn't happy with it so I put it aside for a while.

Yamato woke up sweating in the middle of the night, curled up into the fetal position. He was still having trouble with nightmares after their last adventure into the digital world. He had been reliving watching Taichi get swallowed by the ground and disappear from his life. Yamato had to fight the impulse to call him and make sure he was okay. And then Yamato felt the soft fur brush up against him and saw Gabumon's eyes staring up at him as the digimon hugged him.

“Another bad dream, Yamato?” Gabumon asked the question, but Yamato was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“Yeah.” Was about all Yamato could muster. He felt the arms of his partner digimon wrap around him and provide warmth on what would have been a cold and lonely night. He was thankful for Gabumon's silent comfort. It had been so hard to deal with the thought of losing Taichi. He was fairly certain that he had never cried as hard as when Gabumon had come to comfort him. The memories played in his mind once again.

_“What Taichi said before... The fear of losing something important._

_After Taichi disappeared... I...”_

_“Yamato, you're the only one who could replace Taichi. It's what he would have wanted._

_You understand that, don't you?”_

In the moment, he needed to hear it. The situation needed immediate action, but it caused a lot of pain still. He didn't ever want to lose Taichi. No one in the world could replace him in his heart. He looked up at the night sky. It was very early in the morning and even if with the bright city lights, Yamato could see the stars shining brightly. Although not as brightly as they were in the digital world.

He moved away from Gabumon, with a quiet thank-you. Then, Yamato grabbed a piece of paper and his guitar. He had learned long ago that he could express his emotions through songs a lot more effectively than any other way. The blond started writing his new song pouring all of his feelings into this one piece:

“ _I contemplated all kinds of things as I gazed up at the sky and felt hesitant_

_It seemed higher than usual, though I’m not really lonely_

“ _I want to become stronger and protect you” I said quietly, laughing_

_And it felt like everything was okay again_

_Don’t say good bye, I need it to be you_

_You say good bye, if that time were to come_

_You’re irreplaceable to me_

_The promise we made is always in my heart_

_The wind brushed the tip of my nose and felt chilly for some reason_

_I will surely remember every year_

_Over the season we become adults too_

_Now let me fly the wings I didn't rely on_

_Don’t say love you, with a little bit more effort,_

_I say love you, to deliver with my heart_

_What am I to you?_

_I can’t help it if I seem uncool_

_Don’t say good bye, I need it to be you_

_You say good bye, please don’t say that_

_You’re irreplaceable to me_

_The promise we made is always here in my heart_

_It has to be you...”_

_“Boku Ni Totte- For Me You Are by Yamato Ishida”_

Yamato played the song, letting his emotions out while playing. He could feel his digimon partner sitting next to him listening to him sing. He could feel the desperation to have Taichi by his side forever especially in the last line. The blond wrapped his arms around the blue and white fur of his partner and Gabumon supported him. The tears fell and Yamato didn't try to stop them. It was better than getting all emotional during a concert. He knew that if he didn't tell Taichi is feelings they would eventually drift apart. But, he wasn't sure even if he did confess his feelings that Taichi would return them. And if he didn't, then it would cause the two of them to become even more distant. He couldn't lose Taichi again.

“The song is for you, too,” Yamato stated to Gabumon once the tears stopped. “Thank-you for being here for me.”

“Of course, Yamato.” Gabumon smiled brightly at him. “You are my partner and I will always be here for you whenever you need me. I told you that before and I will never go back on that promise.”

The blond smiled at his digital friend. Letting his feelings out had helped and he still had time to get more sleep. There were only a few people in his life that Yamato cared about more than anyone else. And he had just finished writing a song to two of them. He was happy to have Gabumon with him now. In the morning, he could decide how to handle his feelings for his best friend.


	2. I Still Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features the song "I (don't) love you" inspiration from Eisa96's video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dCEu2cSxeg)- although I did change up the roles to have it be from Yamato's perspective due to the nature of the story. As a side note, the official song title is "I (don't) love you" but the title literally means "I Still Love You", which is the last line of the song. I don't know why it was translated like that.

Yamato's day wasn't going anything like he had planned. Yamato and Taichi hadn't had a lot of time to spend together lately, so when Taichi called during the day yesterday to ask from the blonde's help for shopping for a new recipe Taichi wanted to try, Yamato jumped at the opportunity. He had his doubts due to his lack of sleep. If he had any idea how the day would have turned out, he would have stayed home with Gabumon and Augumon.

_“Meiko and I are going out.”_

The statement was harder for Yamato to process than he expected it to be, especially since it was partially his fault. He was one of the people to push Taichi to call her after she left back for Tottori. Despite that, it was still a stab into his chest. If it had just been that, he would have been fine. But, the song that was playing at Hatsune Miku's virutal mini-concert at the mall was too much for him to bear.

Currently, Yamato was trying to calm down the torrent of emotions that swirled inside of him as he hid in the bathroom. He splashed water over his face and stared into the mirror. He was trying to find anything else to think about other than the song, but none of the words left his head:

“ _My feelings reached you without words_

_But my love for you poured out too much and was lost every time it spilled out_

_So I held my breath and felt devastated, unnoticed_

_I know the time we laughed together never comes back_

_I will never fall in love again like this..._

_Hey, just let me hear your voice again_

_Leave me sweet memories even if it's a lie_

_Let my feelings reach you one more time_

_I want to end it with a beautiful memory at least_

_We were walking along together_

_But our distance grows little by little_

_I try to smile but every time we become distant_

_My heart aches and I want to cry_

_I pretend to be happy but this pain just grows_

_My sorrow just goes up to the sky and disappears_

_Hey, just let me hear your voice again_

_Leave me only good memories even if it's a lie_

_I can not see you anymore? I don't like that answer,_

_Maybe we should have never met on that day?_

_I love you, I don't love you, I love you, why?_

_I love you, I don't love you, that's a lie, I love you_

_Hey, I love you, I don't love you, no that's not right, I love you, I don't love you is a lie._

_I don't love you, I don't love you love, I don't love you, No, I don't love._

_I really don't love you. I don't love you, I don't love you._

_I don't love you, I don't love you love, I don't love you._

_I don't love you, I don't love you. That's a lie, I love you._

_I still love you ...”_

It exemplified his feelings about the situation and he didn't have the emotional strength to continuing shopping with the oblivious brunette. The blond could feel himself getting choked up again. He knew he couldn't spend too long in the bathroom since the brunette was bound to come in and check on him. He tried calming down his breathing first forcing himself to do long, deep breaths. Once his breathing was in check, he stood up straight. He checked to make sure the signs of the emotional turmoil wasn't obvious on the surface. He splashed water on his face once more. Now satisfied with his control on his emotions, he left the bathroom and meet back up with the Taichi.

It wasn't hard to find him either. Taichi was bent over the various vegetables piled onto their designated shelving obviously trying to find the ones he needed. From the confused look on his face, Yamato guessed he wasn't having much luck. As much as he didn't feel like dealing with the complicated emotions he was feeling, he couldn't just leave Taichi in a pinch. So, he approached and Taichi looked up as he did.

“You doing okay? You were in there forever.” The brunette had a teasing quality to his voice, but genuine concern was there too.

“I'm fine,” Yamato lied, bending over to check to what else was on the list that Tai was holding out. He could see Taichi staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but choose to ignore him for the moment. He picked out the next item on the list with a fair amount of ease.

“I believe this is what you were looking for,” Yamato said, as he handed the veggie to Taichi. This earned him a slightly pouty look.

“How do you make it look that easy? I've been searching for that damn thing since you left with absolutely no luck... Why do there have to be some many types of vegetables?” Tai looked over at the vegetables with a certain amount of disdain.

“Mostly practice and experience. I've been shopping on my own a lot, so I am pretty familiar with these things. But maybe if you'd pay attention more in home economics, it wouldn't be so hard. Besides, vegetables are good for you.” Despite Yamato's calm and teasing response, he heartbeat increased seeing the look on Taichi's face, like every time he saw the pouty look on his face.

“Who needs to pay attention in home economics when they have such awesome friends who are almost as good as a professional chef?” asked Taichi, as he swung his arms onto Yamato's shoulders, grinning at him. The physical contact was both a blessing and a curse to Yamato.

“ _Leave me only good memories even if it's a lie.”_ The line echoed in Yamato's head. They couldn't continue this lie forever. Yamato was more aware than ever that eventually their lives would lead down different paths and they wouldn't see as much of each other. Just the thought of that, made it feel like Yamato's heart was snapping into two and it was getting hard to breathe again. He wondered if they didn't see each other anymore if the pain would lessen any. If he walked away, if he could subsist on the good memories to get him through the day. The ache deep inside spoke another story.

“One day, you'll have to do this on your own and it is better if you learn rather than keep depending on others. I may not always be there to help you.” Even as the words left Yamato's mouth, he felt like such a hypocrite. He was constantly relying on Taichi for support and grounding. Technically, even if stuck close to the brunette's side, he'd still have to learn how to do this on his own. Even if they were to get in a relationship, Taichi would still need to learn how to take care of such things when Yamato was busy. The last thought that passed through Yamato's head, his feelings threatened to break through his facade. He snapped back to reality to find Taichi frowning at him.

“What do you mean by that? Are you planning on leaving town soon or something? Is that why you've been acting so weird today?” Taichi was watching him carefully at this point, but Yamato counted himself lucky that Taichi wasn't very good at reading people's emotions.

“No, nothing like that.” Yamato managed to say the line in a neutral tone. “It's just that life my have different plans for us. Beyond what we can predict. You need to know how to do these things on your own.”

“Even if we get separated by distance, we'll always be best friends.” Taichi looked at Yamato with a serious look on his face, one that Yamato had seen a few times before. “We promised each other that nothing would ever get in the way of our friendship. I don't see how distance would change that. Although, you're probably right that I should learn this stuff.” Taichi delivered the last line with a certain amount of humor, but Yamato could tell there was still tension in his shoulders.

For Yamato's part, he was having a hard time giving any kind of response. Hearing Taichi repeat the promise and how much it meant to him was more than Yamato expected or could deal with. The song he wrote for Tai last night also came flooding back into Yamato's mind. Taichi was turning around to continue their shopping, but unable to control his own body, Yamato reached out to touch Taichi's arm. The contact of skin against skin was warm and pleasant. Tai looked back as he felt the contact.

“What's up?” Tai cocked his head to one side, trying to pin down the unusual behavior his best friend was exhibiting today.

“Ah, sorry. We should get finished. I have a new song to practice with the other members of Knife of Day later today.” Yamato quickly let go of Tai's arm.

“Oh, for your upcoming concert?” Tai inquired, perking up again.

“Yeah, I just finished writing it last night,” said Yamato. He actually only started last night after the dream, but it still wasn't a lie.

“Late night, huh? That's explains your moody behavior,” Tai teased. Yamato just rolled eyes.

As they continued shopping and chatting, Yamato couldn't help but appreciate the little bit of time he got to spend with the brunette, even if he was oblivious. Maybe the good memories were worth the lie. At least for a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't decided if I will do a chapter 3, but if I decided not to, I will leave you with the note I left myself at the end of this chapter: "In the end, Taichi breaks up with Meiko and Yamato confesses his feelings to Taichi. Taichi reciprocates and they get together. "


	3. Break-Up

Taichi laid on his bed next to Agumon, his cellphone pressed to his ear as Meiko’s soft voice carried through the speaker. His mind kept wandering to various topics as he tried to steer his mind away from the thoughts of the last battle. His eyes landed on the picture he still has from their original time in the Digital World. Specifically, his eyes landed on Yamato and a slight pain grew in his chest again when he remembered the concerns Yamato brought up. Despite his answer, he was very unsure of what the future might bring. The one thing Taichi knew for certain was that he didn’t want to live in a world where he couldn’t have Yamato by his side. Taichi was startled out of his thoughts by the feeling of Agumon’s claws gently tugging on the sleeve.

“What is it buddy?” Taichi asked.

“Aren’t you going to answer, Meiko?” Agumon cocked his head to the side as he asked the question.

“Oh shit!” Taichi cursed before pulling the phone back to his ear. “I’m so sorry, Meiko. I...” Taichi paused, not really wanting to lie but unsure of what to say to her. Images of the fight and the decision rang through his mind and he pulled Agumon closer to his chest.

He heard Meiko sigh softly on the other end of the line. “Taichi... Are you sure this is what you want?” Her voice sounded hesitant and unsure, unlike the surprise boldness she displayed when she decided to ask him out several months after moving back to Tottori.

Taichi opened his mouth about to respond before he shut it again. He could feel Agumon’s worried stare as he mulled over his thoughts.

Finally, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Meiko...” There was a long pause on the other end of the line, almost causing Taichi to worry that Meiko had hung up on the other line. His throat felt like it was constricting slightly and his chest clenched during the pause, the anxiety building within him. He had accepted because he felt he owed her something over the whole situation. But no matter how he tried, something felt off. It wasn’t the right fit- for either of them.

“I understand. Thank-you, Taichi.”

“Thank-you?” Taichi's voice expressed his confusion. How could she thank him when he was calling it off.

“Thank-you for trying... I...” Meiko's voice trailed off and she took a deep breath, “I knew that you didn't like me in that way and I still asked you out. I wanted to see if it could work. I knew I was being selfish... Thank-you for indulging me.” She paused for a moment. “Taichi.. Um...”

Taichi cocked his head to the side, “What is it?”

She took a deep breath. “I may have been misreading it, but... do you like Yamato?” Taichi jerked up on his bed, surprised by the question, his heart beating rather quickly.

“What makes you ask that?” His voice sounded more strained than he meant it to be.

“Well... You always seem to be interested when the conversation moved to him and it just seemed that way sometimes... Sorry if I misinterpreted.” Her voice squeaked higher on the other end of the phone.

“No, it's... I...” Taichi's voice trailed off. He wasn't sure how to respond. His mind went back to when Yamato and Sora were briefly dating and that familiar pain grew in his chest again. The one he always tried to ignore. He didn't want to complicate their friendship, especially with how volatile it seemed to be at times. “I don't know...”

“I see... I hope you are able to figure it out then...” Meiko hesitated for a moment before finishing her thought, “Are you still okay with being friends?”

“That's fine with me, as long as you will be fine.”

“Yeah, I'll be fine with that. I think that it will be better this way. I feel more.. relieved...”

Taichi nodded, before remembering that she couldn't see his face.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he admitted.

“Well, good night then.”

“Yeah, good night.” He heard a click and the other end of the line went dead while he pulled the phone away from his ear.

“Are you alright, Taichi?” Taichi looked down only to meet Agumon's concerned blue eyes.

“Yeah, buddy...” Taichi smiled and patted Agumon on the head, before he heard a grumble come from the little dinosaur digimon's belly.

“Taichi, I'm hungry...” Agumon stated, a little sheepishly.

The brunette just laughed. “Let's get you something to eat.” He climbed up out of bed, heading over the door. Agumon followed Taichi into the quiet darkness of the rest of the house, and another silence fell over the two as the brunette pulled out some eggs for omurice for him and his digimon partner, while Taichi fell back into his thoughts. Of course, the ones about Yamato...

The panic that he felt when he thought Yamato was injured during some of the fights... How he felt stronger when Yamato was by his side... The desire to reach out even just to hold his hand, not to mention other things he fantasized about. His lips were the same colors as peach blossoms and he couldn't help but wonder about if they tasted like peaches too.

He couldn’t help wonder how Yamato would feel if he knew that he fantasized about kissing him... Would he be upset with him? Would he still want to be friends? Would he want to kiss him back..? That last thought filled him up with hope he wasn’t sure he could allow himself.

He finished up the omelette, in the way that Yamato taught him in the past, something he was entirely grateful for, especially with his ever hungry digimon partner. He set down two plates, a much larger omelette for Agumon.

His digimon partner started chowing down on his late night snack with no hesitation. Taichi ate his slower, although he savored the taste. Maybe this wouldn’t be a bad taste for Yamato either….

Taichi woke up to his buzzing alarm clock, and he groggily opened up his eyes. Agumon was sharing his bed, sprawled across more than half of it, snoring peacefully through the alarm clock. After the late night snack, Agumon fell asleep quickly. However, Taichi still batted around thoughts in his head, late into the night. Which of course, he was now regretting since his soccer practice was still before school and there was no way he could be late as the captain of the team. Taichi dragged himself out of his bed a few moments after he turned off his alarm.

“I’m going to do it today,” he reminded himself, softly. His mulling late into the night had made one thing all too clear to him, he needed to face his feelings and not run away from them. He was tired of being too afraid to face anything, and that ended today. He would do whatever he could to have Yamato by his side even if Yamato didn’t love him back in the same way. But, he wasn’t going to let that fear consume him. Letting his digimon rest peacefully, he grabbed his school bag and soccer gear, heading out for his important day.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yamato woke up to his second alarm clock, hitting the damn thing to shut it up. Band practice had lasted late into the night and he wished that he could have a few more hours of sleep. For a while now, Taichi has filled Yamato’s dreams. Sometimes innocently and sometimes not so much… The one he was woken from by his horrid alarm was one of the not-so-innocent dreams and he wanted to go back to sleep and enjoy it some more. Well, honestly... He wanted it to be more than just a dream. That thought brought the pain back to his world. He had waited too long and now Taichi and Meiko were together. He knew he should be a supportive friend. He had the damn Crest of Friendship, so of course he should be a supportive friend. He had always struggled with the crest he bore, maybe for different reasons now, but it didn’t matter. He sighed. Taichi had always been there for him, even when he didn’t deserve it. He would push aside his feelings to support Taichi. It was the least he could do. Despite the exhaustion from his late night band practice, he pushed himself out of bed, steeling himself for another day.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yamato got to school just as Taichi’s soccer practice was ending, and his eyes lingered on Taichi’s form, the latter running around the field, the uniform showing off his good physique. Despite his earlier promise to himself, he couldn’t help but soak up every detail. Things that were sure to come back to haunt his dreams later. Like how flexible Taichi was when he kicked the ball… ‘God, I’d love to have Taichi stretching those legs around’… Shaking his head, he cleared his head of that thought. No sense in letting his waking moments torment him as well. He smiled a small smile as Taichi made a practice goal and the rest of the team cheered. Taichi high fived one of the other teammates before turning in the direction that Yamato was standing, and their eyes met, Taichi’s eyes widening slightly in surprise, before saying something to his teammate and heading over to where Yamato was standing.

“Surprised to see you actually up this early. Normally you try to sleep in as much as you can.” Taichi said, grinning as he approached and Yamato put extra conscious effort to keep his eyes up at Taichi’s face rather than wandering lower.

“Some of us actually have a life that keeps us up at night.” Yamato responded, somewhat feigning his annoyance returning the jab with one of his own. Briefly a strange look crossed Taichi’s face, one that Yamato couldn’t place.

“Ah… Band practice?” The question from Taichi almost sounded… hopeful?

“Yeah, what else?” Yamato said, now a little irritated from his confusion at Taichi’s weird behavior.

“Ah… Well.. Are you free later? I mean, I have to get back to practice, but I’d like to talk to you after school, if you have some time…” After Taichi’s initial hesitation, the words rushed out of him, almost like he was nervous. Yamato could feel his hopes start to rise, but he squashed them back down.

“Sure, where do you want to meet up?” Yamato put his hands in his pockets, allowing him to go back to his cool facade, one that allowed him to ignore any hopes and potential disappointments.

“Cool! Let’s meet up at the burger joint around the corner,” Taichi said, grinning at Yamato’s acceptance. With that Taichi ran back to his teammates, who were already staring at them with curiosity. Yamato continued on to the classroom, reflecting on his friend’s weird behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've decided to work more on this. But, as I've been writing this, I'm noting especially Yamato's thoughts are getting more and more NSFW. I can do one more chapter at the current rating or I can do more and bump up the rating on the fic. Are there any thoughts or preferences?


End file.
